You have a voice inside your head. It runs constantly, providing live commentary about your life to the audience of your brain.
But it's not an objective reporter. It likes to act as critic, judge and jury 鈥� especially when it comes to social situations. You know that voice, right? The one that says, "They didn't text back. They must think I'm uncool/awkward."
Those negative thoughts can hold you back from making new friends, connecting with colleagues or sharing your brilliant ideas in meetings. Especially for shy or introverted people, it can be a real handicap and even lead to loneliness or isolation.
"That voice is there for all of us 鈥� obviously in varying degrees," says psychologist and author . "With social media, especially, we look at what other people are presenting as, and we assume they are so confident because of how they appear ... and we just make ourselves feel worse."
Bonior is the author of The Friendship Fix and the forthcoming .
The critical voice in your head can also prompt you to adopt a persona to fit into social situations, says Steven Hayes, a psychologist and professor at the University of Nevada.
"It's that problem-solving voice that says, 'You will belong if you are special, and you'll be cast out if you're not,' " says Hayes, whose new book, , aims to